Friday, March 18, 2011

Anna Maria Island, Florida

Ok, it's true.  I haven't been blogging because I've been on vacation down on Anna Maria Island, Florida.  It's at the end of Longboat Key on the Gulf.

The only reason I am blogging is to tell you the story about my "toe".  We got on the island on Saturday.  On Sunday, I was getting some snacks together to take out to the pool.  I dropped an 8 oz. bottle of water on my toe.  My left big toe.  Insant pain I tell ya!  I got some ice and sat on the floor in the kitchen for a long time with my "toe" in the air and ice on it.  It would not stop throbbing.  Instantly I could see the blood pooling under the nail.  I can take a lot of pain people, I've birthed two children au naturale even when the second one was breach. 

I went to a walk-in clinic.  They all treated me like I was a little dramatic but were happy to take me and my insurance card.  The nurse practitioner did a couple things to decide if they were going to burn a hole in the nail to relieve the pressure.  Then they took x-rays and nothing was broken.  What they did find was an osteochondroma, which is a benin cartlidge growth, on the bone of my big toe.  That's what was hurting.  Here is a picture of what it looks like today, Friday.

You cannot buy a pedicure like that, I tell ya! They gave me a Lortab for the pain.  After 25 minutes of no difference I asked when I could expect relief.  They said in 10 - 15 minutes.  This is NOT
good.  They sent me on my way with a prescription for Lortab, but since I didn't get relief from the one in the clinic, I opted for writing my own prescription:  a Blue Moon every 10 minutes.  LOL

I spent the rest of the week in flip-flops.  I do not do flip-flops well.  I was a gimp the whole week.  This morning, I decided to go for a wonderful, relaxing hot rock massage since we have to leave tomorrow. 

I had a complete consultation with the licensed massage therapist, clearly discussing and showing the "toe" at length, with/to her.  STAY AWAY FROM THE "TOE"!!  It took me a while to get relaxed because I was certain she would bump into the "toe" at some point.  She did not.  I was relieved.  Half way through the massage I was relaxed.  Then it happened.  She grabbed the "toe".  You would've thought the "toe" was attached to a pulley-system the way I shot straight up on that table.  The pain was beyond words, literally, no sound came out of my mouth.  I couldn't believe she literally grabbed the "toe".  What was she thinking??!?!!?

The worst part was she didn't even say sorry.  All she said was, "I'll be more careful."  I'm like lady, how can you be more careful.  Did you miss the visual discussion of the "toe" when I came in???  Out of my mind.  So I'll have to get a refill on the prescription I wrote for myself.......................

I'll be back with a real post in a couple days.......


  1. OMG!!! LMAO!!!!! I can totally see your eyes and the look on your face when she touched the toe!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhh...serves you right for leaving me here...all the cold....with the auction crap....and freakin' Angela who gave up going out to eat for Lent!!!! Up for Coney's on Monday??? :) Miss you and can't wait for you to get home! Safe travels and see you Sunday!

  2. Where the heck are the dots on my exclamation points up above??? Did I have one too many Blue Moons???? Oh wait...I don't drink that crap.

  3. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  4. See! It wasn't me! The top line are exclamation marks and there are no dots!

    I thought maybe I hit "1"s by mistake, but nope...those are the second line!

  5. There...5 comments on your post. Even if they were all by me!

  6. Holy crap I am cracking up over here! Now this is funny and I can laugh because something similar just happened to me a couple of weeks ago! However, I dropped a very heavy metal bar that goes to my husbands truck jack on my foot! It rolled off an overhead shelf {no idea why it was UP there in the 1st place!} and came down like a flippin javalin on my third little toe! I thought I was gonna die right there on the garage floor! So I feel ya pain Kaye! I really do! And just so ya know I'm not a violent person at all, but I just might've had to knock that massage therapist in the head with a boot after she grabbed the "toe"!!!

  7. I am so sorry about your toe, but the blog post was such fun to read. I love your sence of humor!
    I found you through Momo, isn't this sweet of her to do for us! So many great blogs we would have been missing

  8. I think I burst out laughing with the blue moon perscription, that would have been my choice too, but in Mike's Hard Lemonade. Oh and the therapist should have gotten a knee in the face for that one.

  9. OMG, I was ROTFLMAO but not at "you", but at no matter HOW someone tries to stay away from inflicting MORE pain on an already sore spot, it just doesn't work. I know only too well what that is like. You poor thing. That must've been horrific. I'm hoping your toes have since healed nicely. :-)